Does it sometimes feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day?
Do you struggle to get everything done and find it difficult to say no?
You may have been putting everyone else’s need first for years – maybe even decades. You may have been caring for others for so long that you’ve forgotten what it feels like to prioritise yourself.
It’s one of the reasons why you may be feeling that you’ve lost part of yourself now you’re in midlife. You’ve put your own needs at the back of the queue for so long that you may need a little support to help you identify what you want, and notice the skills and strengths that you already possess, so you can achieve your goals.
The importance of self compassion
It’s important to show yourself some compassion and look after your own needs. In a nutshell, self-compassion is about providing yourself with a loving voice, no matter what. Self-compassion is never selfish. A great metaphor is the safety advice you receive on airplanes – you need to put on your own oxygen mask first before you are able to those around you.
When we show ourselves compassion on a regular basis, we can cultivate a Positive Resilient Mindset, increase self-esteem, and build confidence. Research actually shows that women who practise self-compassion have a lower risk of developing cardiovascular disease.
Recognise that thoughts are NOT facts
Your thoughts aren’t facts, they are just thoughts, and they come and they go. Everyone has negative thoughts, but you get to choose whether you listen to them or not. This also means you can stop worrying about what others think of you – no one else is paying that much attention to what you are doing, and by the time you consider what they think, they’ve probably already moved on.
Talk kindly to yourself
Imagine how you would support a close friend who is having a tough time in their life. Kindness and positivity would be in abundance in this situation and you deserve to treat yourself with the same compassion and love.
Whenever you catch yourself talking negatively to yourself or being self-critical, why not take a moment to pause and reflect. What would someone close to you say if they could hear you? How would they lovingly reframe it? Focus on this to help you to flip the conversation.
Positively reframing negative thoughts and self-talk can counteract the situation and give you a boost of positivity.
Prioritise physical self-care too
Self-care can be physical too. Relaxing activities such as deep breathing exercises, a warm bath, taking your time over a cup of tea or coffee and progressive muscle relaxation are just a few examples of this.
Prioritising sleep is another form of self-care. Sleep acts like a secretary, sorting through the paperwork from the day. The secretary files away the stuff we might need for the future and chucks away the bits we don’t need.
If sleep does its job properly, we should wake up with our desks cleared ready for the new day. Creating a good sleep routine, going to bed at the same time each night and listening to a relaxation track really help to process the day.
I’m an anxiety expert and I specialise in helping women to overcome anxiety and self-doubt, and live the life they were truly meant for. Together, we can retrain your brain to manage self-doubt and reframe the way you feel about yourself.
Why not book a call with me to take the next step towards achieving a more Positive Resilient Mindset that sets you up for a happier and calmer life.